How to Expand Your Circle

September 14, 2021
How do I start a conversation, make friends, and
meet new people?

A little fact about me: Growing up with ADHD and OCD caused me to self-isolate myself throughout school. I was constantly insecure because I felt like maybe it wasn't in the cards for me to make friends easily or be that outgoing personality. Spoil alert it was in the cards. It is in everyone's if you work at it!

Here are the best tips I can give that genuinely worked for me!:
  • Instead of getting people to like you, try to improve their day with no strings attached. Be willing to make a point to put a smile on someone else's face regardless of if you will ever interact with them again.
  • Always say the positive things on your mind. If you find something you like about someone, tell them! If you admire their bracelet, shirt, positive attitude, or anything else, let them know! They will appreciate it. This includes the little things you find in your day as well!
  • Work on reading social cues. The more you do this, the easier it will become. Notice if someone is not interested in talking because not everyone will be. If someone wants to leave the conversation, let them. Just because you are trying to be positive and make connections does not mean everyone else is. 
  • Make small talk and smile at everyone. The cashier, waiter, someone on the bus, or people you have brief encounters with. You practice your social skills while also improving someone's day.
  • Do not be over the top. It can be easy to come across as disingenuous if you over-do the positive attitude and compliments. Keep it genuine. I can be guilty of this sometimes because my ADHD can take my positive energy to new levels! It doesn't mean I should change my attitude, I just need to read the room. Do not be afraid to make the first move. Initiate a hangout, a quick no pressure lunch, a gym session, or a walk! Then most importantly, follow through. I usually reach out 1-2 times afterward to set something up. Sometimes it works out and other times schedules do not align and that is okay!
  • Put out what you want to receive. If it is a positive, healthy, hardworking mindset, that is what you need to portray! If you feel yourself getting negative, do not say a word to others. Make a point to address something positive around you that you're grateful for.
  • It takes time. These tools are to give you a base to grow. The more you perform them, the easier it will get. Increasing the social interactions and experiences will only enhance that skill. Being social is a skill. Some people are naturally gifted whereas others have to work at it!